Abby Lockhart saves the world on her last day in the "ER"!

A few weeks ago, my mom was very graciously helping me get through my wisdom teeth surgery, and I forced her to sit through several episodes of "Grey's Anatomy." About an hour into our marathon, she said, in complete sincerity, "What's the difference between this and ER?"

Somehow, I couldn't really explain why or how they're different. I mean, they're both medical dramas. They both feature young, good looking casts who have inordinate amounts of time for social lives. They both involve lots of sex on hospital beds, and lots of coworkers dating each other. The best answer I could come up with for my mom was, "Well, they just... are." If she couldn't tell by watching both shows, then there was no way to explain it.

This story is related to nothing, really, except that I thought of it tonight when I was watching my Thursday TV block. Usually, I Tivo everything and then watch it... whenever. I hardly ever sit down and watch shows in the order that they come on. But there was actually something thought-provoking about watching those two shows back to back. Perhaps it's the placement of an up and coming, youthful show next to the aging old sage; or perhaps it's the disturbing notion that "ER" is starting to steal from "Grey's", rather than the reverse, thus showing it's age. Either way, I feel appropriately dramatically horrified and satisfied, all at the same time.


First of all, on the "Grey's Anatomy" front, ew, ew, ew, ew. I'm traumatized and horrified by that conversation between Callie and Bailey with all those terrible metaphors and cutesy language. Now, I know all you Callie/Erica shippers think this scene was adorable, and afterellen thinks it's adorable, and I think the IDEA of it is kind of adorable, but... thinly veiled metaphors and cutesy euphemisms for sex, sex acts, and sex organs really, really creep me out, OK? Use the actual words, or don't talk about it at all. Now, I know that Callie is supposed to be all uncomfortable with her newfound sexuality or whatever, and Bailey doesn't like to talk about sex or her personal life (which, total aside, I find adorable because she's so begrudging about it, but you know she secretly loves it when she's regarded as a girlfriend and not just the hardass surgeon), but "va-jay-jay" is creepy, OK? And so was the rest of that metaphor, which I stopped listening to, but I think it included the word "spongy." I'm not sure, but it may have also included the word "moist." Ew, ew, ew. I mean, if you're gonna put it that way, no wonder Callie is freaking out!

I kept wondering if Shonda thought she was being clever and thinking to herself, "It's just like The L Word! Or Sex and the City!" Except, Shonda, those shows are on pay cable, which means they get to use the actual words. Or maybe it's because their characters don't act like children. Whichever it is, it's far less creepy. Also, I know Callie is supposed to have a big mouth and not be able to stop herself from trying to be everyone's BFF and stuff, but who talks like that to someone they work with and don't know that well?

OK, rant over. I like Callie and Erica, I really do. But I like them better when they're together, instead of saying dumb shit about each other to other people. I liked the scene at the restaurant, when they were on the date. I loved when Erica was all, "What the hell are you talking about?" Tell me again why she wasn't just a lesbian right from the beginning?

On to "ER," at the beginning of this episode, I was all, "I don't get it. Why did they let Maura Tierney get away with this? Why has she been on the show for two seasons without Luka? Why did they let her be in two episodes and then skip out on the last season of the show? This is dumb."

But by the end, I was all happy and weepy that she got to ride off into the sunset with Luka. I saw Goran Visnjic's name in the opening credits, so I knew he was going to show up (not quite as dashing as George Clooney at the end of whatever season that was, but still), but I didn't quite believe it until I saw it. I kind of wish we had gotten to see Abby and Luka setting up their new life in the bright daylight, a la Doug and Carol, but whatever. (Also, I thought Luka was in Croatia?)

Ever since the beginning of season... 7? was it? when she and Luka shared that first, angst-ridden kiss (to refresh your memory, they had gone on a date, and some guy was about to mug them and was harrassing Abby, so Luka bludgeoned him. I think he died), all I wanted for this show was for the two of them to ride off into the sunset together. I waited through Sally Field's scenery chewing, Abby and Carter's ill-fated, monkey pox induced romance, Abby's frequent bouts with alcoholism, Luka's penchant for hookers and waitresses, Luka's weird tendency to beat people up in the name of chivalry, Luka's bad chemistry with Sam, and even Abby's drunken transgression with Stanley Tucci. I sat through Mark Greene dying in Hawaii, Carter playing his ipod in Africa, Romano being killed by a falling helicopter, and most recently, Pratt dying for no apparent reason whatsoever. I participated in countless awesome conversations on the old TwoP message boards, the very boards which fueled my addiction to that website. In short, I have paid my dues to this show, and have been a Luka/Abby 'shipper since they had an annoying acronym on the internet, all to finally see that one moment of Abby and Luka's eminent happiness.

Not to mention, of course, how proud we are of our little Abby... she went from occasional OB nurse, to ER nurse, to med school, and now she's an attending who can save teenagers from suicide, old ladies from their pets, and Sam from being fired. All in one day! And I did like that bit with the signs from the lockers on the wall. If there's one thing this show does well, it's acknowledging old characters that they mercilessly murdered.

Now that she's gone though, I simply have no reason for watching this show. I neither recognize or care about any of the residents of County General Hospital anymore, so I think I will say goodbye until the series finale. Which, now that I'm thinking about it, probably doesn't contain either Maura Tierney or Goran Visnjic, and if the press is to be believed, it certainly doesn't contain George Clooney. So perhaps this will, indeed, be my final visit to County General. I hope they fare well over there, and maybe some of those fresh faced med students will graduate the ghetto and find themselves over at Seattle Grace. That's where the real action is these days.