5 more things about pop culture this month

1. "Grey's Anatomy." Last week's flashback episode was a welcome change of pace, and aside from the bad hairdos, gave us a fun look inside some characters we hardly get to see. I loved Callie's stage fright, despite the fact that I didn't quite buy that Derek would make her do it when he knew she didn't want to. I liked, though, that we got to see a surgery that clearly happened off screen, but during the run of the show. I did like that Joe surfaced, though I still want to know whatever happened to the baby adoption storyline from season 3? 4? Whenever that was.

I do like Sarah Paulson, a whole lot, but I just didn't buy her as Ellis. She's too small and blonde, and looks nothing like a young Kate Burton.

2. "Life Unexpected." Yes, really. I love this show, despite it's increasing silliness. As if the pilot, with all of it's pretty orphans wasn't silly enough, it just manages to get sillier. But I'm really enjoying it.

3. "Being Erica." This show is also awesome. Erica Strange has a magical therapist, who is able to send her back in time so she can relive the past, knowing what she knows now. She uses this to not only change the trajectory of some her relationships, but also to learn from her mistakes and start fixing things in the present. It's the kind of magical power we all wish we had, and Erica is just relatable enough to strike a chord. For extra intrigue this season, she has found a kindred spirit in the local bartender, who also travels in time, but is unwilling to talk about it.

4. "American Idol." Normally, I hate this show. But I look in on it from time to time, and wanted to see whether Ellen would be any good or not. It turns out, this show still takes itself way too seriously, but that kid who sang "Heaven" was pretty damn good.

5. Speaking of which, why is a Bryan Adams power ballad suddenly turning up everywhere? Brandi Carlile and her band released a self produced EP for Valentine's Day, called XOBC. It includes 3 new songs, including one called "Love Songs," which she played at some her live shows a few years back, and I was glad to see it resurface. She also covers "All You Need is Love", where all four band members scream "LOVE!" into the mic at the same time. And yes, she covers "Heaven" as well. It's an acoustic cover of an 80's pop ballad, and it's very sweet. But I have to say, I liked it better when the twins and the Fighting Machinists covered it at their show at the Tractor, and kind of cranked it arena-rock style.

Brandi Carlile is definitely more awesome than the Red Sox

Allright. A couple of days ago, I did my best attempt at a concert review of the Brandi Carlile show in Northampton. Now that my 2 days of experiencing Brandi's fall tour have come to a close, I'm at a loss for what else to say. I think I've already showcased her music, told you how awesome she is on stage, and attempted to describe the energy in the room during one of her shows.

The only thing left do, I think, is tell you my personal experience at the show in Boston last night. I know the Red Sox are a hard thing to compete with in this town, especially when they're playing right across the street. And at first, I had my doubts. The show wasn't sold out, and the neighborhood was filled with hot dog vendors and rabid baseball fans before the show. As opener Katie Herzig took the stage and I could still hear chatting by the bar in fierce Boston accents, I was still a little worried about just how enthusiastic this crowd was going to be.

But my worries subsided the minute Brandi, the twins, Josh and Alli took the stage, stood angelically around one mic, and launched into "Oh Dear." The room was impeccably quiet, and the house had filled up to almost sold out. Let me back up for a minute here, though, because I need to express my gratitude to those wonderful forum members who were vigilant enough about standing in line and being organized, that we ended up standing exactly front and center the entire time. Even though I'm short and I usually try to squeeze myself in between the tall people, I don't ever get that good of a spot! Sitting in the front row of a seated theater doesn't even compare to being right at Brandi's feet, which were adorably bare last night.


They then brought the house down with "Looking Out," which I think is going to be my favorite off the new album. I'd only heard it acoustic before, but the driving bass and drums really gives it a rock anthem feel. What happened next is something I've only seen at Indigo Girls shows and maybe Hillel campfires... Brandi and the band started playing "What Can I Say," and the entire audience sang along. Now, I've heard audiences sing to this song before, as it is one of her most recognizable, but not like that. Usually, it's about 100 people in the first few rows that rally a little bit and try to encourage the rest of the audience. Last night, it was immediately apparent that almost everyone there had made the effort to come out just to see Brandi, and they knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. They came prepared to participate.

"Late Morning Lullaby" and "My Song," both from her album "The Story," were both filled with the same energy, and even Brandi was impressed with our singing. When she then stepped away from the mic and the twins picked up their acoustic guitars, she was able to quiet everyone down to near silent, and got away with playing "Dying Day" completely unplugged, even in a room where she said she wasn't sure she'd be able to do it. The last time I saw her attempt this in a venue around the same size - the House of Blues in Los Angeles, people at the bar were still looking the other way and chatting with each other, and it didn't work so well. In Boston, she had everyone's undivided attention for the entire 2 hours.


I'm so glad I moved to a city who loves Brandi, but I never expected this from Bostonians. I mean, this is a town who collectively loves things like baseball and Aerosmith. I never expected the same people to be Brandi Carlile fans. And before you go all, "Gabi, did you look around the audience? Did you notice anything about the majority of the people there?" I will say, yes, I know the culture of Brandi fans. Believe me, I know - I'm one of them (did I mention a certain website I frequent?) But while we had our requisite lesbians and hippie chicks, there were also plenty of straight guys in Red Sox caps who chanted right along with her when she introduced "Folsom Prison Blues" as a "song by the late, great, Johnny Cash."

What was even more great about the audience, is that we were so busy singing, there were almost no inappropriate comments from the audience, except for the one requisite "Marry me, Brandi" comment from some girl, to which Brandi gracefully replied, "Well, this is Massachusetts." Otherwise, though, everybody was mostly too busy actually paying attention to Brandi and the band instead of calling attention to themselves.

But seriously, back to the set list. I just about died when I was standing 5 feet away from Brandi, and the band launched into her cover of "Creep." As soon as I heard the first few drumbeats, I was in heaven. Remember that sexy growl thing I was talking about the other day? Nowhere is it more evident than in Brandi's throaty, all encompassing rendition of "Creep." A friend of mine said of the Northampton show that "music flows through her," and it certainly does. I've only heard her sing that live maybe once before, so it was a huge highlight of the show for me. I won't get into the inappropriate details of why I love that song so much, but... oh, what the hell, watch it for yourself. (Disclaimer: I wasn't really looking at the camera when I shot this...)



They closed the show with "The Story," and then launched into a 4 song encore, anchored by rocking renditions of "Folsom Prison Blues" and new song "Pride and Joy." It's a great note to end on - "Pride and Joy" has everything we've come to expect from a Brandi Carlile performance - a heart wrenching verse and chorus that starts off slow and crescendos into a rock anthem full of emotion, cello solos, electric guitars, driving drums, and lots of guitar sex. Rockstar!Brandi and the band finished with a flourish, and then practically skipped off stage, leaving us with their surge of adrenaline. Throughout the show, Brandi was all smiles and giddy excitement over the audience's enthusiasm, and I think she had a hard time leaving the stage.


Which brings me to my last few sentences about Brandi for a while. Before I sign off on writing about this fall tour, I need to address the issue of "Hallelujah." I know, I know. A lot of your eyes roll back into your head and glaze over upon seeing that song title written in conjunction with Brandi's name. But let me make my case. I love Brandi's rendition of "Hallelujah." I just plain love it. The first time I saw her play, back in LA, she played "That Year," and then said, "that was supposed to be my last song, but I just can't leave the stage," and started playing "Hallelujah." I was sold on it ever since. If our cynical LA audience wasn't already impressed with her voice, that song sealed the deal. Seeing her do it live really convinces you, 'this girl's voice is amazing.' So, I just don't get sick of hearing it, and I feel remiss whenever I leave a show where she didn't play it. I know this may get me in trouble, but I would trade "The Story" for "Hallelujah" any day. When the band finished "Pride and Joy," it almost looked like she wanted to stay... and that's what I wanted at the end. I wanted that, "you know what? I'm going to play one more song" moment, the one that made me fall in love with her in LA.

Brandi Carlile: Rock Star Edition

I apologize in advance that this is yet another post about Brandi Carlile. I'm sorry, I can't help it - I am once again amazed by that voice of hers, among other things. Her new album, titled "Give Up the Ghost" will be released on Tuesday, and she's currently on yet another tour to promote the album.

Last spring, I wrote about the quiet intimacy of the acoustic shows. These current shows are anything but... in a good way. A really good way. I didn't realize how much I missed the drums and electric guitars until they were taken away and then put back. When I first discovered Brandi, back in 2007, I went to a show much like these recent ones - full band, glitzy lighting, bigger venue. I fell in love with the fact that despite her songs being more on the folksy side, she plays like a rock star. A rock star with a fierce growl and raw sexiness.

Last night, she rocked Northampton, MA, reminding us all of why we fell in love with her in the first place. The set list included some old, old favorites off the first album, like "What Can I Say" and "Happy"; some sing along hits from The Story, like, uh, "The Story," "Turpentine," and hidden track "Hiding My Heart"; and tons of stuff from the new album, like rockers "Dreams" and "Pride and Joy," and acoustic turns with "That Year" and "Dying Day." There was an acoustic section, too, for those of you who missed the acoustic tour.

But the best part about it was that rock concert feel. The band has a new drummer for this tour, Allison Miller, who kicks ass on the drums and makes every song sound better and more intense. The addition of the drums and electric guitars to songs I'd only heard acoustic made them sound like whole new songs, and allowed the band to play old favorites that just can't be done right acoustically. I really can't describe the energy Brandi exudes on stage. It's amazing how much different she sounds than the recorded albums; I always find it unbelievable how an album with so much quiet introspection can sound like arena rock when played live. I like my girls with guitars, but I like them even better when they're slamming on their electric guitars. And when Brandi does that thing on the guitar which has been dubbed and can only be described as "guitar sex," every audience member, no matter their sexual preference, falls instantly in lust.

What's more is that no matter how many times I've seen this woman play a concert, I'm always taken aback at the beginning of the show by how striking her voice is. Last night, Brandi and the band took the stage quietly, and after stopping themselves from giggling over the enthusiasm of the crowd, launched into "Oh Dear" - a song from the new album in which they all stand around one mic and breathe harmonies reminiscent of an old country-roots song. I was struck once again at the sound of her voice, that clear-as-a-bell meets sexy-growl thing that hits you right in the gut, and doesn't stop for two more hours.

Tonight she plays at the House of Blues in Boston, across the street from where the Red Sox are making their way into the playoffs (or maybe they're already in the playoffs... I really don't know, I just know I was warned about the traffic). In this town, that's hard to compete with, but I'm sure she'll emerge victorious. I invited some friends who have never seen her play before... I can't wait to hear what they'll say.

Brandi Carlile, on an acoustic tour around the country, never ceases to amaze

As it happens, I'm visiting family/vacationing in New York City this week, which serendipitously coincides with the East Coast leg of Brandi Carlile's current concert tour. As a result, I've spent many hours this week attending her shows, and have one more coming up this weekend. As usual, I really don't know what to say about the shows I've been to so far, because when I talk about Brandi, I turn into Barney Stinson and insert an "awesome" into every sentence. What follows is about the closest thing you'll get from me to a Brandi Carlile concert review.

She's on an acoustic tour with her band, which is fun because we get to hear new songs, ones she hasn't played in a while, and versions of her old ones which we haven't heard before. Additionally, her repertoire and range of motion has become vast enough to allow her to change up the set list from night to night, always keeping the show fresh and lively. It's really cool to hear some of the newer ones stripped down to just an acoustic guitar, and she's got one new one where Phil plays the ukulele and they all sing into one mic.

In case you've just tuned in to my blog, Brandi Carlile is a singer-songwriter who plays folk/pop/rock/country/etc. Her backup singers and band mates are Tim and Phil Hanseroth, twin brothers extraordinaire. She also has a cellist named Josh, who is almost as dreamy as Brandi. She plays a mean acoustic guitar, and looks really good doing it. Sometimes she plays electric guitar (though not on this tour), and looks even better doing that. She's learning to play piano, but (shh! don't tell her I said this), is adorably not very good at it.

I've always loved rock concerts, and I've always had my favorites of people I like to see play, or musicals I like to see over and over again, that sort of thing. But I have never before been a fan of an artist who gives such a dynamic performance, that there's never a moment during the show where I tune out, or think, "I don't like this song," or get bored. Not that I love every one of her songs, but she has such an interesting voice, that even if I'm not too fond of the melody, I still love to hear her sing it. Case in point: when her opener, Gregory Alan Isakov, took the stage, I was underwhelmed. His songs were fine, but his stage presence needed some work. However, the other night in Tarrytown, when Brandi did a bit with Gregory where she tried to sing some of his songs to see if she could get them right, they sounded awesome. I was engaged in the songs immediately, but only when Brandi herself sang them.

Her voice is ethereal, raw, and sweet all at the same time. She can cover Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline, Elton John, Radiohead and the Beatles, all with the same adept earnestness. I really don't know how to describe it, since I'm mostly tone deaf, but she's got that raspy thing that I love in all of my favorite singers, but can also sing amazingly high notes, and can yodel. Yes, she yodels. It's ridiculous. She has one of those voices where she could sing the phone book and make it compelling. Before I saw her play, her CDs were the ones I fell asleep to, because her voice has such a soothing quality to it. Now, I listen to live bootlegs of hers when I feel stressed or anxious and need to calm down.

These acoustic shows feature all of our favorites from her first 2 albums (the 3rd is due out in the fall), plus some new ones from the upcoming release, and some covers - a few which we already love, and some new ones. So far, the New York contingent of her tour has covered Long Island and Westchester, and this coming weekend she'll play to a sold out crowd in Manhattan. Highlights so far have included a cover of "I've Just Seen a Face," with a cameo appearance by Melissa Ferrick in Long Island; A new song called "Dreams," which she's been playing on the road for a while - it's a raw and passionate song about, well, dreams, and it's more intimate than what she usually plays, so watching it is a rare treat; A resurrected old song called "Over You," which she says "haunts her dreams" because she had buried it years ago and then ended up putting it on the new album, and her mother hates it because it's so angry; A cover of "Let it Be," with Brandi on piano and each of the twins singing a verse; A couple of verses of Johnny Cash's "Jackson" before she launches into her famous cover of "Folsom Prison Blues"; Closing the show with "Hallelujah," which she hasn't done in a while, but I'm glad it's back.

Check out "Let it Be" and "Dreams":





She killed in Long Island, and while I felt the acoustics in the Tarrytown Music Hall were not as good as they should be, and the energy level of both the crowd and Brandi, et al was not as high as it should have been, she amazed us at that show as well. This tour involves playing smaller venues, with a scaled back set and not as much gear, which allows her time to do signings and meet and greets after every show. If we didn't love her enough already, her willingness to meet fans, learn people's names, sign every bit of merch and stolen set lists, and be completely charming while doing it just seals the deal. And honestly, doing the signings is just good business sense - it's a really good way to sell merch.

Since I'm attending three Brandi shows this week, I'm finding myself running into the same people at all of the shows. I've met some of the fan club members before (all frequent participants in the discussion boards at againtoday.com, a fan-run website devoted to all things Brandi Carlile), and really enjoyed hanging out with old acquaintances as well as meeting new ones. Let me tell you, say what you will about internet fandoms and the like, but those people really know what they're doing when it comes to getting autographs and memorabilia, and just making the best out of every performance. During both of the shows I've been to this week, I collected my share of dust-collecting memorabilia, got it all signed, and said my share of really stupid, inappropriately fannish things to Brandi while doing it.

Don't get me wrong, though - the performances are still the best part. To be honest, while I do fall for the glamour of it every time, I find that meeting Brandi, saying inappropriate things, trying to be her buddy or whatever it is I'm doing... it kind of takes away from the experience a little bit. I like my rock stars to be, well, rock stars. They are gods and goddesses (well, in my case, mostly goddesses) of the stage and shiny lights, if you will. They're cowboys, on steel horses they ride. (Sorry, I had to.) I feel like after enough of these meet and greets, it will be like watching your friend at her recital. (It would be a damn good recital at that, but still.) I hate to admit it, but shaking her hand too many times may take away a little bit from the fantasy that is watching her make that face and do that thing with her voice when she plays "Dreams." It's more fun to wonder about what she's like than to actually know what she's like. Not because she's not lovely, but because wondering what she's like is kind of the point of her being a rock star. Besides, aside from overcompensating by saying inappropriate things, the only thing I can ever think to say to her is "you're amazing." Like she doesn't already know that. But, while I later question the wisdom of always being in the autograph line, I do fall for it every time... it simply cannot be helped.

Disclaimer: All of the photos and videos in this post were taken by me. Please excuse their shoddiness.

The (Mostly) True Tales of a Brandi Carlile Fan, Part 2

Part Two: The Concert

The opening band, The Fighting Machinists, actually consist mostly of members of Brandi’s band. A long time ago, before Brandi met twins Tim and Phil Hanseroth, they were part of a band called The Fighting Machinists. They wrote catchy rock-bordering-on-heavy-metal tunes, and employed a drummer with a zillion tattoos and a spitting problem worse than a camel. When Brandi met them, she was a fan of theirs, and finally just asked them to play in her band. The Fighting Machinists broke up, but were reunited for one night only, at Brandi’s request, to open her show at the Tractor Tavern in Seattle. Are we all caught up now? Good.



The twins and their badass drummer took the stage, opening with a cover of the Bryan Adams classic (if there is such a thing as a Bryan Adams classic) “Heaven.” While covering Bryan Adams seems, on paper, like musical suicide, it actually worked quite well. They rocked out, took a few requests, and played a catchy tune called “Sweet Pea,” which I will soon be trying to figure out how to download. In fact, all of their songs were catchy, including the new one they wrote just so they could sing something new for this show, and I’m finding myself wishing they were still a band. As if they hadn’t won us over enough, they really got us for the last song, when Tim started in with Brandi’s famous line (she later gave him shit about it), “This is a song… by the late, great, Johnny Cash.” They proceeded with a rousing rendition of “Ring of Fire,” only topped by Brandi’s sudden appearance on stage to sing backup.

The Machinists ended their set, but hardly anyone in the bar moved an inch. We were all so riveted and didn’t want to miss one second of Brandi’s show. And we were right in our foresight, because… wow. The girl was on fire, and the audience was too. She played for almost two hours of rousing guitars, searing vocals, hilarious banter, and sweaty brilliance (it was easily 110 degrees in that bar). The boys took the stage and launched into the familiar strains of “Fortunate Son,” a powerful cover of a song that Brandi says has “come back around again.” It’s one of my favorite covers that she does, and opening with that made me shake my head remembering a recent conversation I had with a coworker about politics and music. Brandi was making her statement through music, and the choice to rock out right at the beginning set the tone for the entire show. She played most of her standard fare, but with a few twists – less ballads, more rock, and a few more covers than usual (minus one rather famous one, but I’ll get to that). Right from the beginning, Brandi had this gigantic smile on her face, like she was so pleased with herself for coming up with this whole “singing” idea in the first place. She loved the crowd and we loved her right back. According to the story she told us later on, the Tractor was the first place she ever played with the twins, the first place she ever sold out a gig, and the special place it has in her heart was evident right from the start.

As the song came to an end, Brandi cheered herself on right along with us, reminisced about playing at the Tractor way back when, and introduced the band as “Late Morning Lullaby,” with an ‘I’m so clever’ smirk on her face. They launched into “My Song” with even more gusto than the song before it, with Brandi sporting a surprised smile when we all started singing along, and then acting even more surprised when we didn’t stop for the entire two hours. This was the first Brandi show I’d been to where every single person in that room knew every word to every song, and “What Can I Say” featured an a capella sing along that could put the Indigo Girls and “Closer to Fine” to shame. Brandi was having so much fun with it, and her constant surprise at how well we knew all of her songs – even the ones she herself only wrote a month ago, was adorable.

Her newest addition to the repertoire, “Caroline,” is a song about her one year old niece, whom she calls “a little weirdo.” It’s a rollicking country tune with sweet lyrics, and somehow reminds me of Billy Joel. Forgive my ignorance about music for a second, because to me, there’s something about the rhythm of the many lyrics and the narrative style of the song that’s reminiscent of “Only the Good Die Young,” et al. “Caroline” has become an instant favorite, and we surprised Brandi again by singing along. I think our love for her finally hit home when she launched into “How These Days Grow Long” and called it “new,” and we all scoffed. She wasn’t getting away with anything with this audience. It worked to her advantage, though, when she forgot the lyrics, and we very conveniently sang them for her.

At one point, she stopped and thanked her sister Tiffany for doing her hair, even though “it was all for shit.” This got the audience all riled up, because for whatever reason, curse words make people cheer. That kind of banter was rampant throughout the evening, and it made the night even more intimate. Up next was “Dreams,” another new song which they recorded for their upcoming third album. I’m trying to come up with a way to describe this song, but it’s hard without sounding like a giggly 13 year old at a Jonas Brothers concert. It’s raw, it’s catchy, it’s sexy, and it’s more explicit than any of her other songs. It’s such an intimate song, that we let her sing this one to us, turning us all into the aforementioned 13 year olds. Appropriately enough, this led right into her cover of Radiohead’s “Creep”, with the addition of a dissonant cello. If you’ll excuse my language for a second, this song can only be described as “orgasmic.” Watch it for yourself if you don’t believe me:



The last three songs were standard Carlile fare – “Fall Apart Again" (another new favorite of mine, though the song is old), “Turpentine” (with the requisite 3 part harmony sing along and additional curse words), and “The Story.” For the encore, they hit the stage with “Folsom Prison Blues,” rocking it harder than I’ve ever seen them do it before. Next up was “Pride and Joy,” another new one, and it’s a powerful, poignant song about acceptance. The ending of the song features Brandi and Tim jamming on the electric guitars, an act which the fandom has aptly dubbed “guitar sex” (named for, um, what Brandi looks like she’s doing when she plays the guitar… in case that wasn’t obvious). The band took their bows, and Brandi remained on stage to, um, lighten the mood a bit. By this time of the night, she had our attention so lovingly that she even got away with asking us what she should play… and then not playing any of the requests.

Brandi comes from a family of musicians, so she brought her sister Tiffany on stage with her, and they sang their trademark “Calling All Angels.” But perhaps the highlight of the evening came during the very last song, a parody of classic country called “Same Old You.” The song itself is hilarious and crafty, but it’s the intro to the song which really makes it. Brandi grew up singing classic country tunes, and her random sampling of ridiculous old country songs is always a crowd favorite. She brought her mom up on stage with her to sing “Your Good Girl’s Gonna Go Bad,” and then did her best rendition of “Stand By Your Man,” her voice dripping with irony and sarcasm. She then showed off her yodeling skills (yes, she can yodel too) with “Same Old You,” and took a hasty exit. I didn’t even notice the absence of “Hallelujah” until I inexplicably had to listen to it eight times in a row on the plane coming back to LA.

The (Mostly) True Tales of a Brandi Carlile Fan, Part 1

Part One: The Fandom

I just returned from my trip to Seattle, a trip I admittedly took simply to attend a “secret” Brandi Carlile concert. Yes, I will readily divulge that I spent $300 on a plane ticket, got on a teeny plane which made me nauseous, and flew 1,000 miles just to see a band play. When my mother asked me, “Are you going to follow this young singer around the entire country?”, I told her that if Brandi would just play in LA, I wouldn’t have to. But alas, Brandi lives in Seattle, and only plays “secret” shows in towns she lives in, apparently. How dare she. Besides, I wasn’t actually going to see Brandi. I was seeing “Late Morning Lullaby,” with The Fighting Machinists as their opener.

Upon making my arrangements to attend this show, I already knew there was going to be havoc wreaked by the internet forum members. For weeks before the show, I wondered how I was going to bring two of my real-life friends into that mix, especially given their general aversion to internet fandoms. To people who don’t know the strange and almost cult-like lure of internet fandoms, they can be intimidating. After all, these are the people who get something signed (sometimes it’s a body part) after every show, the people who seem to have intimate conversations with Brandi at every show, the people who all became soul sisters after spending a week together on a cruise featuring Brandi and other folk musicians, and the very same people who told me about this show in the first place. I wanted to meet these notorious folks, and figure out how they manage to socialize with a semi-famous musician so much. However, I had no idea how I was going to make it all come together.

Once the much-awaited day arrived, I had to figure out who I was going to be that day. I had to decide between joining the madness (which I’m never very good at), or being the fly on the wall and just observing (which I’m very good at, but often feel left out of the madness as a result). After watching “Almost Famous” last week, I considered Lester Bangs’ advice: never become friends with ‘em. This seemed like a good rule of thumb – be friendly, but don’t get too involved. Be an observer, but an observer with a little bit of an inside edge, thus making the resulting review knowledgeable, but distant enough to be critical. Now, I’m no Cameron Crowe (not that I consider Crowe to be the genius that he seems to think he is), but every once in a while, I am a writer in my own right, and I thought I should have the proper perspective.

I finally settled on a happy medium: I wore a name tag, stood on line for two hours, introduced myself to all of the people that I’d been exchanging banter with over cyberspace, and finally scored myself a cushy spot in the fourth row, dead center, looking straight at Brandi. I even talked to and flirted a little with the cute girl sitting next to me during the opening act… until her annoying guy friend decided to switch places, and thought that standing in between us was the best place for him. We exchanged a couple more glances after that, but when the show ended, it was just too crowded to deal with any one, and our very short lived romance fizzled faster than a Brandi fan’s fingers fly when dialing ticketmaster for tickets. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right – happy medium. I did not, however, participate in the pre-concert tailgating on a Ballard street outside the bar, sit behind Brandi’s grandmother, videotape the entire concert (I only filmed one song, you see) and stream it on the web, call a friend in Tokyo, Stockholm, or Amsterdam and have her listen to the entire concert on the phone, line up at noon, or stalk Brandi or any of her band mates after the show.

From my perch on a barstool in the fourth row, I was perfectly happy to stare directly at Brandi, even if it meant I couldn’t see Josh (the cellist) at all. The lights dimmed, the opening band took the stage, and suddenly, nothing mattered anymore. It was me, 200 other sweaty fans, my friends, the cute girl, and Brandi and the twins. As soon as The Fighting Machinists took the stage, I remembered why I love live music – it’s the collective high you experience with the rest of the audience, that moment where you know that 200 (or 2000, depending on where you are) other people just felt the exact same thing you did at the exact same time. It’s an experience you share with 200 strangers, and actually, the anonymity of it is part of its appeal – which is why I was wary about becoming too ensconced in the fandom. Once you lose that anonymity, the experience is changed...

When the show ended, reality started creeping in again, and my real life friends and I made a beeline for the merch table so we could buy our T shirts and get the hell away from the crowd. Torn between my exhaustion, my real life friends, and not wanting to feel left out of the fandom, I reluctantly said a hasty goodbye to whoever I could find, and as quickly as it started, the worship service was over. Once outside the bar, lacking what else to do, we headed straight for the car and home, as one usually does after a concert ends – or so I thought.

I later realized that I had indeed failed my initiation into the fandom by going home straight after the concert. I mistakenly thought that attending the secret show would be enough to get me in the door, but apparently, in order to gain the premium membership, there were still some steps to be taken. The correct answer would have been to avoid the mad rush for the door, and instead walk farther into the bar, thus being part of the resulting conversation with Brandi herself. It turns out getting a word in edgewise with the unassuming star is part of the initiation ritual for all new members, and I failed. After all, this is a club whose membership is based on the admiration for one person, and if I can’t manage to get near her, what kind of member am I?

... Please click on over to "The (Mostly) True Tales of a Brandi Carlile Fan (Part Two: The Concert)" for the rest of the review.