5 Things About the Olympics

I originally intended on live blogging much of the Olympics, but alas, I have not updated this blog since November, so the live blogging didn't so much happen. However, I figured I would consolidate some of my thoughts here, list-style.

1. The Opening Ceremony. This is arguably the best television event in any Olympic year. It's better than the Oscars and the Super Bowl combined, and trumps any Lifetime movie by far. The pageantry! The human interest stories! The choreography! (Was that a Mia Michaels routine I spotted??) The celebrities I never knew were Canadian! The geography lessons from Bob Costas! I love all of it. While the Beijing Opening Ceremonies were an exercise in patience, ADD and Busby Berkely-esque mega-choreography, Vancouver toned it down slightly without losing its awe-inspiring look. I loved the tap dancers and the modern routine which I never remembered to look up, but made me wonder if Mia Michaels had anything to do with it. KD Lang, Sarah McLachlan and Donald Sutherland all turned in sublime performances, though Bryan Adams was slightly underwhelming.

2. The NBC anchors, commentators, and broadcast in general. As has been said ad-nauseum, boo on the tape delaying. Of any kind. Vancouver is in the same time zone as a third of the United States, so there is no reason why everything shouldn't be shown live. If you want to package it all later for the working stiffs among us who can only watch in the evening, that's fine. But at least give us the option of also watching the event live, so that we don't have to find out who won by accidentally opening a web browser in the middle of the day.

However, yay for silly commentators and some awesome editing and B roll. Being an ex-TV-production-assistant, I can just imagine that it must take all 2 years in between Olympics to plan the production logistics of the next one. That is a lot of cameras, interviews, B roll, and editors. Admittedly, my favorite things about watching the Olympics are the silly human interest stories, the medal ceremonies, and Mary Carillo traipsing around with polar bears for no apparent reason other than burning NBC's money. I love it all.

The combination of the skiing crashes, the short track controversies, the figure skating eating disorders, the triumph over adversity through sport stories, and the celebratory nature of the Olympics adds up to more excitement than The Amazing Race, and more tears than Extreme Makeover Home Edition.

Plus, what would the world be without Bob Costas' bad hair and silly puns, Scott Hamilton's pure passion for figure skating, and Mary Carillo's riding boots (seriously, how many pairs of those does she have)?

3. Johnny Weir. I love Johnny Weir so much, I'm about to get on the internet and join his fan club, who call themselves Johnny's Angels. First of all, he's one of Kathy Griffin's gays. That should be enough to love him, but I'll go on. This guy is a true performer, and he loves figure skating for all the right reasons - the fashion, the showiness, the performance art, and the hearts and flowers he receives from his fans. Unfortunately, those aren't the reasons most of the competitors cite for loving figure skating, which puts Johnny usually at the bottom of the ranks. He should have been a Broadway star, where there are no judges who care how "flamboyant" you are, which seems to be, along with "eccentric," figure skating's code for "gay." The fact that a sport like figure skating even needs a code word for gay boggles me, but sure. What puzzles even more, though, is that this man has done nothing to deserve those descriptions, other than the sole fact that he is a figure skater. What sets him aside from the others, I really don't know.

He also has a reality show currently airing on the Sundance Channel called "Be Good Johnny Weir." It puts into words all of the puzzlement we all feel when we hear how the figure skating community treats Johnny. Check it out, it's awesome.

4. Ice Dancing. Admittedly, I started watching ice dancing going, "what the?" It looks nothing like figure skating, and nothing like dancing. And... ok, now they're just making up stuff. Twizzles? That's not a dance step! But, as the competition went on, and the Russians got tripped up in their Leiderhosen or whatever, and the Canadians soared toward the gold medal, I got more and more hooked. When Tracy Wilson first described the free dance as something that only required the skaters to, uh, have some steps and some rhythm, I thought, "oh, come on. Even So You Think You Can Dance has more requirements than that!" But again, the medal winners actually came through on some awesome choreography and engaging music, and by the end, I was totally on board. Plus, I love it when the Canadians win, and they were so proud and teary eyed... I only wished I had a Canadian TV feed so that I could hear Jamie Sale and David Pelletier's commentary. Also, Tessa Virtue is just about the best name ever.

5. Team Canada! I just love it when they win... they never won a gold on home turf, and now they have what? 7? 8? It's just so heartwarming, the Canadian anthem is so fun, and I know that somehow they can turn all of this into fodder for Robin on How I Met Your Mother.

Honorable mentions go to short track speed skating for how ridiculously unfair it is that people can win a gold simply because somebody else confused it for roller derby; the ridiculous attractiveness of the US ski team and the Australian snowboarders; skate-bot Evan Lysacek for choosing a talented publicist; and ski and snowboard cross for how much fun it is to watch people fall down.

Not so honorable mentions go to the Korean short track speed skaters for repeatedly mistaking their sport for roller derby and losing out on the gold medal; Evgeny Plushenko for choosing a terrible publicist; and Julia Mancuso for her poor sportsmanship and whininess when teammate Lindsey Vonn was visibly injured, causing Macuso to have to re-do her run.